Apocalypsmas Mantle

Merry Apocalypsmas

With the end of the Mayan
calendar approaching, it looks
like we’re all doomed. Time to say
your final farewells with our handy
Apocalypsmas Greeting Cards!

Mayan Plate
Apocalypsmas Mantle

Cataclysmic Customization

Use our patented Spite Sliders™
or enter your own text
to customize your message.

,

Dear demon spawn,

To my least favourite child,

To my best frenemy,

Hey creeper,

Hey you,

To Whom It May Concern,

Hi friend,

Sup bro,

Heeeyyy girl,

Dear Soulmate,

Dear Shmoopywoopums,

With the world ending so soon,
I just want you to know that

I’d rather step on a Lego than spend another day with you.

I hope you get reincarnated as a pet hamster in a kindergarten class.

Every time you take a picture of what you just ate and post it online, a baby seal somewhere dies.

I may or may not have used your toothbrush regularly. And not always on my teeth.

there’s a reason I tell everyone you’re adopted.

you’re the best and worst thing to ever happen to me.

no matter what happens, you’ll always be my most “special” friend.

I still love you, despite your questionable spelling and grammar.

you’re very pretty and it was a privilege to be your stalker.

our wedding vows are still legally binding in the afterlife. You’re not getting away that easy!

even your farts smell like rainbows.

Merry Apocalypsmas!

.

Here’s to the sweet release of death,

See you never,

Don’t call me. I’ll call you.

Regretfully yours,

It’s been real.

Sincerely,

Warmest regards,

Bros 4 life,

Stay fabulous,

Love always,

You are the wind beneath my wings,

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